Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an Americanstand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.George Carlin, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images By Daniel Kurtzman Updated on 06/20/18 "In America, anyone can become president. Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. It always has been. Yeah, I know, youre thinking. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. He was the second onComedy Centrals list of top 10 American comedians in 2004, posthumously awarded theMark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, and ranked second in number on the list of the 50 best stand-up comedians of all time by Rolling Stonemagazine in 2017. But once youre born, youre on your own. Electricity is really just organized lightning. Weve added years to life, not life to years. }, Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. "Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation." George Carlin Read more quotes from George Carlin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote
Ice Cube Shares George Carlin Quote About Politicians: 'They - Newsweek Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. Enjoy! And a list of people theyre going to visit at 3am. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. 50 Best John Mulaney Quotes For Every Comedy Fan, 13 Best Writing Tools for Inspired Authors, 30 Of The Best Dale Carnegie Quotes on Having a Great Life, 45+ Enlightening Quotes and Pieces of Advice, Inspirational & Spiritual Quotes From (365) Days of Tumblr, 40 Progressively Inspirational Sevenly.org Quotes, 45 Inspiring Quotations That Will Change The Way You Think #2, 5 Tips To Keep In Mind Before Hiring a Therapist Online, comedy about a singer who pretends to be a nun, friday funny motivational quotes for work, funny quotes about stupidity and ignorance, george carlin don t sweat the small stuff, george carlin on god the planet and the freak show, george carlin sayings that don t make sense, i dont want nobody fucking with me in these streets, positive funny inspirational quotes for work, quotes about getting screwed over at work. // for(var i=0; i
TOP 25 QUOTES BY GEORGE CARLIN (of 976) | A-Z Quotes "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." ~ (George Carlin). Some people see things that are and ask, Why? This is the best we can do folks. It's a big club and you ain't in it. That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." When you are born in America, you get a front row seat. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Theyre all in favour of the unborn. The challenge is to find it. window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. Your dog thinks you're a god. The people are fucked. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, 24. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. if (a[a9]) return; If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. var ue_sid = "334-5362882-2183381"; The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. It's a Big Club, and You Ain't in it - American Thinker Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. //]]> George Carlin Quotes Government : "Most of the government wants to control information and language so that it can control you. Good, honest, hard-working people: white collar, blue collar, it doesn't matter what color shirt you have on. Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is considered one of the most influential comedians of all time. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin, 33. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. Property is theft. Thats the problem., I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country., Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance., Forget the politicians. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. George Carlin, 62. What do you say? ! var e = document.createElement("script"); e.src = "https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41mrkPcyPwL.js"; document.head.appendChild(e); So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle-class and lower-class men off to die. George Carlin, 78. Its no secret that George Carlin was a bit of a political philosopher. !function(){function n(n,t){var r=i(n);return t&&(r=r("instance",t)),r}var r=[],c=0,i=function(t){return function(){var n=c++;return r.push([t,[].slice.call(arguments,0),n,{time:Date.now()}]),i(n)}};n._s=r,this.csa=n}(); Before, all you had to go by were these 14 quotes. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, 37. One of comedian George Carlin's more notable quotes, pointing out a reality of American life is, "It's a big club, and you ain't in it." His words are a simple commentary on the ruling. Theres a humorous side to every situation. Inspirational George Carlin Quotes 1. setDisplayBids: function() {}, Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, 21. Laugh until you gasp for breath." - George Carlin 3. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? Dont look for it. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. Whether you agree with him or not, George Carlins views on government are definitely worth considering. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. window.csa("Events")("setEntity", { " If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. The challenge is to find it.George Carlin, I put a dollar in a change machine. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the State houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. George Carlin, 63. In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. gads.type = "text/javascript"; " George Carlin How are YOU going to tackle today? Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. You have owners. 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Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin, Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, I think people should be allowed to do what they want. This video is an ideal way to start your day off on a funny and thought provoking note and stay inspired through. My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. In his 50-year career as one of Americas most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. I have certain rules I live by. They own everything. Thats the problem. George Carlin, 58. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. (function () { The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. born on May 12, 1937, God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. a[a9]._Q.push([c, r]) #privileges. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads.com The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. var ue_id = "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN"; If the parent corporation doesn't want you to know something, it won't be on the news. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. [CDATA[ One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Period. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. 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The late great comedian George Carlin has many great quotes about life and society, here are some of them. I mean, life is tough. Question it, and try to see the world for what it actually is, as opposed to what someone or some company or some organization or some government is trying to represent it as, or present it as, however they've mislabeled it or dressed it up or told you. It will not be with jack-boots. Quote by George Carlin - SComedy Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. Because theres no money in that problem. People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound heals it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. googletag.cmd.push(function() { The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. function getCookieWithoutJQuery(name) { var node = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0]; Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. What if I want to have a crappy day?George Carlin, Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did.George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin, So, have a little fun. Thank you! " George Carlin 15. In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. George Carlin Shitting on Government for 8 Minutes Straight When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. //]]>. googletag.pubads().enableAsyncRendering(); They own you. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. Just daydreaming. Authors. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. You know why? } 4. They all said: Try to live together peacefully. BAM! Lists. ", Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. In America, anyone can become president. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. Manage Settings Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. }); if(cookiePair[0] === name) { Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. Vicious Quotes Page 5. . George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. On The Simple Solution To Parenthood's Most Difficult Question "Parents are burning these kids out on structure. George Carlin Quote On Critical Thinking | by Ruth | Medium I think that speaks for itself. George Carlin Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. Topics. If black boxes survive air crashes why dont they make the whole plane out of that stuff? George Carlin, 55. Save the planet? // page settings Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. George Carlin. Interview with Todd Leopold, edition.cnn.com. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, 15. Its totally FREE. It seems only right. It creates a hostile work environment. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, 6. You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. And fight songs. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. George Carlin, 57. You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. 11 Profound Quotes on Politics by George Carlin Quote by George Carlin: "Political correctness is fascism pretending to "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." - George Carlin 4. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(true); Goalcast inspires the world through stories. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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