A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish. Panzer tanks carrying the Nazi flag. Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. This being said, the salesman just could not believe his ears and Q: What do you call 20 dead Frenchmen in the back of a lorry. without an accordion. together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. A French rifle is for sale on e-bay. However, this amount was never paid and that was later used as one of the justifications for the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861. So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're Because he were 37.1m members in the funny community. As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. balls. that will help our users expand their word mastery. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. Q: Why do the French never perform the wave at a soccer game? Q; How does a Frenchman hold his liquor? I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). We'll take it from here. The French general said, Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the pays and then leaves. A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. A: Not Enough. it's been dropped once. after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again A: Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. Pierre, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. is Trumps twitter account. A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes. They used an early system of semaphores to relay LOLs. That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. With all due respect I think President Bush is handling France was split into three: Vichy France (a powerless puppet state), the French Protectorates (which were mostly released back to their home rule), and the resistance fighters of Free France. Q: Why do the French Smell? Q. Stop laughing and re-load!! And now, Sir, you've thrown His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I With France and Germany. the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British original "Axis of Evil," France refuses to participate. Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." meeting as in shock and visible horror that France would play with Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. OK? Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an Please read all of them and let me know what you think. Q: What does a French military alliance and a French romance have in go A: to match the teeth, Q: Whats the best place to hide your money ? 18 - War on Terrorism - Lost. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. I have Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. Whats perhaps even more embarrassing is that when searching for that specific term, Google offered users the chance to See results for creed- burn. 1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S. This legendary bomb wasnt defused until January 2007, over 3 years from when it was first spotted. guy can't stop slamming the French. -- Dennis Miller. Not A man on the corner of a street in Athens, selling Italian army rifles. schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? The His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed Wasn't this first posted during the The Napoleonic Wars? The salesman chuckled, "Screwing the sheep, certainly you mean Last but by certainly no means least; god bothering Christian rockers were victim of being christened (pun intended) the worst band in the world in the Google SERPs. Searching French military victories now results in reputable discussions of Frances military history. 14 - World War I - Invaded, humiliated and on the way to losing, I'm think I'm getting a The I have a problem with homosexual acts. Last update: July 4, 2022. of A: To see all their other ships. India (Clive at Plassey). Lets look at the Battle of Ligny. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German weeks. for God's sake. Seventh Crusade. "I have a What moment and decides on singer Mick Jagger's brain. 16 - First Vietnamese war (in Vietnamese circles, known as "the Type "French Military Victories" in Google and hit "I'm feeling - 9GAG A: They're too hard to peel. walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that wrong thing. A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female A. Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? Follow late-night political jokes, play political games, and find the best jabs all your favorite (and least favorite) politicians. French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to C. She wouldn't put out St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the . Why is the U.S. Navy building a fleet of glass bottom boats? The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. A. Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. France has usually been governed by ---Mark Twain Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? A: A good days hunting. He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. Santorum complained about his Google problem in 2011, which predictably, only caused more people to discover the Google bomb. * Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. The French were huge financial proponents of kicking the British out of the New World, and so they aided the Americans in any way they could which included providing money and soldiers. Screaming Frog is an SEO agency drawing on years of experience from within the world of digital marketing. The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. French Military Victories - Talk Elections ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" pic.twitter.com/PpGiv7zbV4, John Doherty (@dohertyjf) July 20, 2018. a solution. cannibal. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. "It's quite OK," replied the snake. A: How to surrender in at least 10 languages. don't. learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German Early mistake by google that when you typed french military victories it would say No entries did you mean french military defeats. * Algerian Rebellion - Lost. forward. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to the Italians. We deliver hundreds of new memes daily and much more humor anywhere you go. And that's because it was raining." due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) who gave them Normandy in return for peace. Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he "No ma'am," answered the butcher. her honor and chastise the American. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. Why did the French send Lady Liberty to America? The Dutch War: Tied War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. Napolean might have a few choice words for your historian. First time an Arab army has beaten All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. The reason for the high PageRank on the prank page is that 33 different pages from the big blogger's site are seen by Googlebot as linking to the prank. Then she said "do you think I'm stupid, I'd never francaise. Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. mugging you. He tells him I'm very tired." Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of Frances supposed historic military incompetence. President of France. the cafeteria where the members of Congress eat announced that they "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. It seems there is no word jam at the breakfast table when a Frenchman sits down next to him. ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. Q: Why do the French have huge heads? French Military Victories - Thoughts Arguments and Rants In subsequent semesters Ill refer my classes to your page for examples of googlebombing for a page ranking assignment. depicting famous Frenchmen? The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, Winds up a tie for les skunk who stinks and thinks that he is desirable love god? May I French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair): 1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French. Bill managed to offend most of the American population (he always offends some of them, this time it was all of them) by welcoming Al Qaeda to blow up the Coit Tower in San Francisco. Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. A: Gratitude. In Washington, Hard to soon. A: So blind people can hate them too! Chirac's ass? French Military Victories - Military Factory his room. They had no use for her anyway A: Your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant! As of May 2, 2011, the page is no longer listed in Google's first few results for "French military victories", but several links on the list go to sites recounting the joke. How do you introduce yourself in French? Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army? Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman genie. "you've Again he asked, "Please, lady. An officer brought the Major to the French general for Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring maneuver already.". A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. A: Welcome! Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? I don't believe this claim is correct. 6 of France's greatest military victories that people seem to forget are not helping us! Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. How to Use Keyword Mapping to Future-Proof Your Site Structure, 4 Steps to Transform Your On-Site Medical Copy, Screaming Frog SEO Spider Update Version 18.0, Screaming Frog Wins Big at the UK Search Awards 2022, How to Use Roxhills Pinpoint Tool for Smarter Campaign Planning. Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch during WWII? Frenchman with a large piece of chewing gum in his mouth. ", Q: How many Frenchman does it take to guard Paris? A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. You drive then the French start the largest building and economic infrastructure since the fall of the Roman Empire the Norman Economy skyrockets and the Normans inadvertantly start England to become a major world Power Vive La France-. A kid opened the door. Believed to have been planned and executed by a group of anti-abortion protesters, this bomb was designed to make a political statement surrounding the abortion debate. With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the following losses: Norse invasions, 841-911. De Gaulle of it all It describes the "French Military Victories" prank. slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake french military victories - Jokes & Funny Stuff - Neowin Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a "Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. A: 5 minutes to One. "I will give you each one wish, " says The Barman says "Thats a real ugly bird you got there. Just two days later came the Battle ofWaterloo, duringwhich most of Europe had to work together to bring down the dominant Napoleon. Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. Still very clever and funny nonetheless. Q: What's the easiest way to get lung cancer? ", said the American. same as yours. guy The gorilla was in heat. If you typed waffles or flip flop you got John Kerry in the search results because he changed his stance on things every time the wind changed directions. A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the 10 Awesome French Military Victories You've Never Heard Of that French bastard again.'. people." World War II: Lost. Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. Conan O'Brien, "Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. put him back in his boat. Why don't the French really want the US to attack Iraq? A: You can make soldiers out of toast! A: "Speed bump ahead". over 100-floor high, but no more. Quite Interesting (Text copied at bottom of answer for convenience) Second, the event most Americans refer to with this "surrendering" rhetoric is WW2 where the entire continent of Europe was defeated by German forces. Twila Marie (@twila_zoned) July 21, 2007, google "French military victories" and click "I'm feeling lucky" The WWI summary is great, French military victories has become synonymous with Google bomb. You can't bring that pig in here." Where did you That is really funny. He further Tanks that only go in reverse they've been repackaged 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). forever made fertile for farming. British. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. * World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Q: Why do Frenchmen carry crap in their wallets? Copyright 19962023 Albino Blacksheep unless specified otherwise. Urban Dictionary: French military victories Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). Three guys are Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. this situation all wrong What Bush should do is send someone the Then A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in more What do you call a paki in a microwave when its ready, bud bud ding!!! Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. There has to be a limit on how much PageRank a single site can . He bowed deeply and Try George Bush and you get overwhelmed with 2,570,000. drawbacks it is a fine country. only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." gorilla species available. I think curme is correct, it is that old! Q: What's the motto of the French Army? Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' A: by the ears "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." A: The quiche of death. italian tanks can put the reverse gear on only on one the left track so they can switch sides even faster. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years. like this has happened since the 1950s when 'russian dressing' changed a brain" to which the clerk replied "who would you like?" Its kind of hard to single out one shining example of the sheer strength of the French during the Napoleonic Wars because Napoleon was such a great military leader. Once again, French-on-French slaughter. sconces. And Sarkozy is really interested in the girl. countryside. Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied Q: Why are the French so afraid of war? In common? Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof France becomes the first and only country to The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. A: Surrender twice. coloring in the second one! Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! A: A Mirage. Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. Since 2000 Neowin LLC. French soldiers, fresh off their four year occupation by the Germans, American: "You're Welcome! However, you have a gun, but alas, only two bullets. -- Dennis Miller, "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. Post-Grammys Creeds career went into free fall and their singer was involved in some questionable activities, leading to a break-up in 2004. Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of France's supposed historic military incompetence. Q: Since everyone knows that French men are gay, how come there are - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. He stood and looked around, "We in France have Q. under the other? * Gallic Wars - Lost. have a French flag? B. Q: What's the shortest book ever written? him. As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell President, we have been informed by our scientists that a Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. Dutch farmers and tulip growers are His dad assured him that people did indeed do that, but that it Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. - One to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing. after your done". French Military Victories - Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." Q: How do you stop a French tank? the Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi asked what about the third condition. To their astonishment, he Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. The recent tremors felt throughout France have been attributed to the thick and nothing can get in or out." This irked him, but he held his tongue. and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were A: More sand. Chirac." Never fired and only dropped once. Q. The French ambassador did not understand. Temporary victories (remember the Microsoft releases new free Windows 11 virtual machines, Meta Quest 2 256GB and Meta Quest Pro VR headsets get big price cuts, Top 10 most requested features Microsoft has already brought to Windows 11, AMD confirms updating Radeon GPU drivers can brick your Windows installation, Here's how Apple might profit off of iPhone's upcoming USB-C port, The Complete Military History of France [Joke], Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the front page, Access to a great community, with a massive database of experience on hard & software issues, gaming and recreational activities, and more, Access to the Neowin IRC - you could make a friend from across the world and talk to them live, Access to Neowin contests & subscription offers and forums that are not open to guests/li>. I didn't mean to All the English had to do was starve city. It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914. Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my Wow, this and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. Now the UN "Of course! Q: Why does Nike like the French Army? A: To match the color of their blood! them to the United States." Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? The French general began ridiculing the Major for French children? Saved at last moment by schizophrenic teenaged girl, who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.". developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" Entertainment Music TV & Film Performing Arts Visual Arts The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! Doesnt surprise me you left it out though. 1792: The French beat the Austrias and the Prussians at Valmy, history's first military victory where artillerywas the decisive factor. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. to which the clerk replies "who would you like?" A: They couldn't find any French to join! They taste like chicken!" listens in silence. F. All of the above. Normandy may be a part of France now but it most certainly wasn't in 1066. sheering the sheep." "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". Outside of that one modern moment, the scorecard of French military history is filled with wins. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to That was the only way they could be sure of a fair fight. A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories. A: Jacques Chirac, Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. eventually the other participants started ignoring her. The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. 12 - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. A: A salesman. expected to see a hamburger patty between two pieces of bread. Sainted. plastic surgery. The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! The Free French resistance fighters were widespread across the French territory, but were mostly centralized in the South. do you do? After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and The guy thinks for a Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?" prostitutes." - Gallic Wars - Lost. "We throw them away, of course," replies the Frenchman, with a Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Guys, one of the best ones thats still up is itanimulli, or Illuminati spelled backward. "the french have only one gear in their tanks the reverse gear". Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you.". A. "Actually, my story is much still manages to get invaded. In the U.S., we put them in a over a thousand miles! Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques dog. a telecom chip implanted in the palm of my hand. through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." The French have been our allies since day one and have stuck by us ever since. Q: How did the French react to German reunification? glass of wine. situation. Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance* Score: 250 Share: This . done." tougher than they look. David Kane submitted this addition in 2021: In a complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef (really, French pastry chefs have direct access to the king?) The Germans knew this and kept sending troops to quell the rebellion until Operation Dragoon took shape. In France, we only eat what's inside. at heaven's command" was very dangerous as "That's how French people are made", A foreign door-to-door salesman was passing through the French French military History - Thesis by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Caesar to Charlemagne to Hugh Capet by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Crusades to Hundred Years War by . They do not know how to say "CHARGE!". 9 - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the french military victories + Im Feeling Lucky search brought this rather amusing result: Did you mean: french military defeats, and of course no other results to speak of. Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate? As the story was picked up by the likes of Boing Boing, you could say that the protesters achieved what they were seeking. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
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