He never responded, certainly a bit confused, guess you never know whats going on in the their mind, but still so frustrating when it went so well! If you havent met yet and spent some time together you no relationship. Now its Wednesday and he has yet to ask me on a second date. In the last week he hasnt been talking as much but continues to be online on whatsapp. He said How are you darling? I didnt respond, because I had told him earlier in the week that if I felt like he wasnt putting in any effort, I would eventually just quit responding. His last message was super thoughtful and . I replied saying that I didnt mean to come across dismissive, but that in my opinion, if the moment feels right for both of us, then perhaps we will kiss, but weve only been on one date. But never has time to date I. Just be honest with him. If you want to you can text HIM good morning and all but don't drag the conversations too long. Important detail we are in different states at the moment. We lived in the same state but not same city. I think you know the answer. Hes too scared and fearful to meet up with you so he comes up with anything to stop it from happening. He said: I just got home from hockey, bit drunk, so no calling for me, I am going to sit on my couch. Considering it's an investment that COULD result in hot sex, it's a pretty valuable use of a dude's time. I feel that we have some connections and mutual feelings. Something like that. Next! He said he wanted to see what I was doing, and had no actual specifics in mind yet, but that we should do something, and I agreed! When I searched these profiles there are no friends list there are no posts other than his pictures some of the pictures look like him and some dont but there has been no posts on his page. And I am also aware that it can click online, but can fizzle in person. He doesnt owe me anything. If youre looking for excitement stick with him. So he told me to be patient with him when he dont reply quickly. You responded appropriately and when a man likes you he WILL pursue you. I ignored that, which he then commented on a few days later. Or maybe we can work in a few phone conversations in the week, if that works better for you. And you wont either until you ask him. 1. Sounds like you are the side chick. Its so different these days. Ok how about this one. He made plans to visit me in about 3months. We had a lot of funny things in common too, somewhat serendipitous. Thank you for clearing this up. The next day, I saw he was online, so he must have found my message and phone number. I want a man who is not afraid to express himself in person. So he wanted to reschedule. I dont want to be cruel, but from the info I have here, including you saying it, hes not into you. I do feel like we are back in high school, but we are both 63 and I dont want to be in high school anymore. But, he continues to text me every day and calls me once or twice a week and when he calls, we are on the phne for 5 hours and he claims that this never happened to him before. Take this time and get help if you need to. We were fighting all the time and I wanted to get help and counseling and he refused. Lilas guy told her all these wonderful things and poured his heart out via texts for two weeks. Having not even met this person, I could still feel it from miles away. We seemed to have hit things off and have quite a bit in common. Then, he started acting distant. Alas, women are avoiding commitment as much as men today. Like I said, when a man doesnt meet you or even talk on the phone, there is a reason. I can empathize with you here, only, my guy takes it a stop further. I text him in October about meeting in San Antonio, it didnt work out then. If he is distant but still texts, or if shes still responsive but intermittently, then yes, it is possible the lack of texting is an indication that they've lost some of that lovin feeling. There are so many terrific men out there! 6 months gone and no drink. Hi Bobby! I tell him it is because I never know what version of him I am going to get on text and I am tired of being called names etc. I (19F) met this guy (22M) on Hinge last year. Hope this helps! I hope hes not what you described above as a pinger and leading me on. (Which I hope youre doing anyway.) Youll have to decide if thats ok with you. For me, would rather meet someone at social event, in a meetup class or church group. I dont think there is such thing as being too interested. That didnt sound so great to me, so of course I googled what men really mean when they say that, and well, according to what I read, I should probably never count on hearing from this guy again! Anyway the next time I saw him I mentioned that Id sent him a FB message. Youre holding on to some fantasy not what it is. I know weve never met so he doesnt really owe me much, but we did discuss meeting up when pandemic rules eased. Confused, really felt a connection. Hi Sherri I havent been able to find any help regarding my situation. Many thanks. I know it makes you happy, and it may mean he thinks youre special, but I want you to be happy when a man shows real interest. NO! Thanks for your help, I appreciate you, nina, Thanks for sharing your story, Nina. Still, get the daily texts and funny cat videos. I just see guys the text alot as weak. When I would tell him to call me he would abruptly stopped texting and say goodnight. He also said that he wants to meet me but meeting soon is not possible for us because he lives in another city. We were there for 2.5 hours and got on really well.he said next time I will get a train so I can relax. Bp. We were in contact daily and the investment was very even on both sides. Dont let one woman bring you down, ok? And he doesnt live all that far away. I was in agreement and shared the sentiment. I feel hes trying to build some connection with me despite the distance. The next day the texts started to taper off, but they were long texts. You can not figure out a guy in one date or in a few texts. Texts can be fun, sexy, flirty, caring, encouraging, cute, thought-provoking they can be a great tool for women and men as part of a relationship-building strategy. The young man came with us to lunch? We talk on the phone or text each day. This friend of mine and I went over to this guys place after the party, and I ended up staying the night over there (w/my friends blessing) we didnt have sex or even kiss, just a good cuddle session and sleeping. I havent been asked out in 5 years and it felt like fate had thrown me a good guy who was single, no kids and lots in common He then started texting every morning with hi beautiful and general chit chat for a few days. later! Then move on and find a man who is emotionally and physically available. Bp. Besides, even email can be too impersonal and cause misunderstandings. It all happened over 40 years ago and Ive been to counseling its hard for me to figure that thats still somehow affects the way I interact with men. He said he liked me and wanted to keep in touch. Remember that! By the 3rd date he shared personal stuff with me. I have a query actually. Last thing: stop initiating. In addition, Im a straight forward type of woman and asked if a relationship with me is something he would want in time. although it takes too much time these texts and so on. I couldnt believe that I am receiving all those compliment. Theres no guessing. Yes, have a grownup conversation with him. I just dont understand how a guy can say he wants to get to know me and see if there is potential but then back track. And dont like the way he canceled the supposed date. He replyed immediately saying that is a good idea and that he had plenty of time next week. Close over 5mths, dated, faded overnight. There was such reassurance that there are great, genuine men out there that are so damn busy living their own full life that love isnt the priority. Good for you to know. I noticed twice he was judgemental and gossiping about others. After this conversation I stopped texting him, and then after exactly a week from our last conversation he texted me. for always import he lives in Scotland He did send copy of drivers licence he always wants money. Please reread the article. Or should I just not respond at all? I wonder how long it will take him to get stable what hes going thru sounds very intense so I want to give him the benefit of the doubt but then Im like how long does it take to send a txt message. I met a guy online who coincidentally grew up near the town I reside in and we also share several mutual friends. Thanks for the texting information, just what I needed. Im trying too, as Im in a similar sutuation. Also read my article on when the right time is to have sex. Then he txt and said what about this Tuesday then, if not then after the holidays? You never know what came up in his life. He works Long hours I might see him 2 or 3 times in a month Hook up. Please advise Im so upset we had so much in common. They text you and, when you respond positively, get the high of knowing that youre still a willing option when (and if) he wants to actually spend time with you. Just let them know thats what you prefer, and that you hope that works for them. Or testing you. Last phone call was pretty boring as I dont feel any connection with a guy that seems too busy for real relationship and the daughter situation was weird as we never had a chance to talk like grown ups. I stand very firm on the idea that texting as a replacement for dating is dangerous. Fear of commitment/fear of pain (especially if engaging with you triggers those emotions that remind him of a past failed relationship). I do want to see what his personality is like (i have seen him before but never spoken to him). And then it all happened. From the get-go he said he enjoyed our pacing and that he was building his friendships/community back here (the past relationship was out of town). Not really looking for a relationship. If you want something different youll have to have a conversation with him. And about your busyness: if you give that impression to men who are looking for companionship and partnership they will leave. The connection and chemistry was obvious to everyone. Yes, youre being foolish and only you can change/fix the situation. One week later we met, sat on the beach, got a slice of pizza and talked for hours. Thank you so much you really answer lots of my doubts about texting. Also, hes only ever texted me goodmorning texts like twice. Dont take it personally, ok? Not good. I know Im being played, knew from the beginning. This screams NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER! 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Then.. he messaged me Jen I cant stop thinking of us . Be open and honest with him and see if he responds accordingly. Thank you for this article. This was 8:45 on day he dropped me off. Best. BTW, he is extremely introvert, which is even harder for me to show my extrovert personality when I am around him. Dont know what Id label him, Kellie, but if he cant be okay with the way you live, then hes just not for you. Well, that's what we've been about. We all went to the party together. Let him know that youre dating to ultimately find love. We went out for a drink about two weeks ago and had a great time and he seems like a genuine guy and I really like him. 38 days isnt any kind of long time, is it? So all this and LOTS of text messages. I love word play and use quotes and memes which most of the time get a positive response. I like a male acquaintance. The texting is slacking off and Im left a little sad because Ive built a false connection with this man. Just like texting, its not a way to get to know someone. I would absolutely love to do it again (upping the ante with guns of course )! Granted, if hes really into you he most likely will. Ifyou dont hear back, move on. (He kept having very legit excuses like work has been hectic and unpredictable so he couldnt get together). However, he has been texting me daily for the past 1.5 years.. Is he stringing me along or is he really shy? Hugs, Bp. Or if I do like him, how do I explain that I dont want to text pointlessly. Ask him to call or ask you out. I tidied up more. I know this all goes in hand whenever I like him enough to do this. Becoming his sexting buddy which since is not a real relationship - he feels little empathy or reason to explain his disappearance and will do it quite randomly. I started sending him short videos of my day. I know he wasnt making up that he had a busy schedule as a way to avoid me. Any help would be appreciated. Give him space and support. About 3 months ago, guy from dating app messaged me and I messaged back. He keeps sending me memes or jokes and when i reply he doesnt reply after that. Said b/c of his divorce hes guarded, seemed really into me. We initially were texting everyday for at least a week before we met because he was traveling. Sometimes they can be very patient about setting someone up. He has told me that he likes me and wants to get to know me more. Bp. I asked him if we could do a video chat and he told me no that that was too much security on the boat and that they was not allowed to use video chats because it would send ways through the phone and could cause a blast. We can chat then in person. Follow me on Twitter | The Why Do Guys Facebook Page | Join The Facebook Group, This article was posted in Give me a shout when you have some time we can swap stories and catch up, like what dirt Jim has on you ;-). We received your msg btw and will respond soon. On-line dating has been exhausting for me. My hope for you is that you keep dating and open up to other men. Emails exchanged spending several hours conversing daily. Next! We were texting this entire time, very friendly. I was floored really not like him. I hope youll response, itd mean a lot to me:), Hi Lia, It all depends on whether you two have agreed to be exclusive. We shared everything , or so I thought. Promises dont count. Said hes not great over the phone but set a time. Very good advice. I stuck to my words and vanished from his social media etc gone completely no contact. If you are in the same page then you could ask him kindly if, when you text, he could respond within a [certain amount of time]. I recommend you to everyone who I feel could use your advice. He texts me throughout the day everyday but we barely see each other. So, what does it mean a guy or a girl slows down texting you? This entire and comments has pit everything into perspective of what I think is happening in my case. Hard to make plans when you dont know if your mom is going to be there tomorrow. He would text me saying "good morning" and "good night." We'd talk all day long about random things, and sometimes we would flirt or sext. I do agree that the bottom line is in the meeting. Meaning- If you've been texting back and forth everyday non-stop with no missed time in between and that pattern abruptly changes then you have cause for alarm. We went on several dates and things seemed to be going well. Best to you. Bp. But at the same time when Im with him he seems ok, Maybe he doesnt like to text. He setteled the date with the words: I will try my best to be there but I cannot promise for how long I have time. Unless you are having long conversations on the phone AND meeting up in person regularly, you cant possibly KNOW him and he cannot know you. Then he revealed to me that he likes this girl we know in common and me & that girl is actually quite close. I dont know what this is all about but I dont feel it really warranted and explanation nor an update as it was obvious he wasnt interested. He said he was tired and he would like to rearange. He replied yes but I feel like were not getting to know each other, were still getting a feel for one another and it creating anxiety, what should I do? He tells you how much he likes you and even acts super interested in your life. Once you get the start of that answer I think youll know the next steps: 1) leave and 2) get help understanding more about why you making the choices you are making. I had to mch which ruined the rest of the night he left my apartment unhappy because it was obvious I had to much to drink apologize the next morning by texting and I feel so in appropriate I want to see him again but I dont know if I should contact him after apologizing to him about my one too many glasses of wine He had texted and said all was good but I dont know if hes going to see him again and I want to let him now I would like to get together again but I dont know if I should text him or wait to see if you text me I would much rather him call me on the telephone but We only text. He's more comfortable virtually. I just dont know if his actions are those of someone who is like the guy you mentioned wanting to keep me on his line for the sake of his ego or if I should give him a nudge now that his schedule has opened up and just ask him again to go on a 2nd date hoping hell say yes. Because you're learn why men DO feel like they have to pull away even after he tells you he likes you. The next day he was very distant and didnt contact me as much as he had before, that evening we flirted a bit but he said he was tired so I said good-night and he sent me a sweetdreams message with he hasnt been on WhatsApp since, he wont reply to my texts, and he only came back on the dating site 2 days ago when he viewed my profile read my message but didnt reply Whats going on? I headed home, hit the sack, and woke up to a very lovely text from him the next morning saying he sure had a good time and would definitely be asking me out when he got back from his trip to California for two weeks. I think I answer this in the article, right? Ive never considered us a couple, although Id love that to be the case, and now since its been so long since weve been talking I think its time for him to DTR. Just tell him you like him and then tell him what you would like; just as you told me. I dont know who I can trust with this since my friend doesnt seem to understand. We are still getting on well until recently he has to move to another town for the new job. I stopped texting him for one week coz i didnt want to disturb his family times and he reached out to me later But just before he moved to another country for diplomatic, he changed not texting me a lot or he sounded just a normal friend. Bp. We text, again faded. He said he could be anywhere from feeling fine to being bedridden to having to go to the hospital. I called and left a message. We get to know each other, becomes open from each other and even had deep conversation for weeks already. Are you making some assumptions? Move on! Now still just texts. One of my girlfriends recently put it bestmaybe I need to date someone different whos into getting to know me in person since the other guys didnt work outand I agree. My situation: so I been dating this guy for roughly 3 months now, we TEXT everyday morning and night, we been on couple of dates. Try not to spend so much time texting and calling before meeting. Just the wyd texted. Should I go from Miami to Los Angeles? So he has either lost interest, gotten distracted, or hes busy with other things. A few selfie exchanges and requests to do different activities without a date set. Any suggestions how I can ask this?? I met a man online, and we text for a while before arranging to meet up. Im confused, sad and kind of upset, as theres a great potential between us. I didnt. He quit texting good morning and nothing at all. its been more than 1 2hours. He showed a lot of passion and enthusiasm for me while mentioning of going out to walk the dogs and have a coffee etc. Long story short, we ended up chatting for three hours (the time disappeared on us), and we both probably had one beer to many, but the evening was just great. And that's what makes it all. About 15 minutes after hanging up, my fear set in and I started texting him saying I hope hes not upset with me, that I hope he doesnt think Im upset at his daughter for wanting to spend time with him, I let him know that I was sorry for so many text msgs, that I had all these thoughts rolling in and wanted him to know what I was thinking instead of keeping it all in. lol. Cant figure out what he got from this and why he would do it. His statement was I cant this weekend I know that! We fell out of touch again since he was in a relationship. Bp. And more important and relevant to your "probable" circumstance TWO: You can not build a firm and solid connection with a man by merely sending text messages back and forth. Who knows. Very elusive and secretive, and Ive dated and just hooked up via internet dating in the past, so this isnt new. If youve been seeing him for a while, maybe you could say itd be nice to hear from him more in between dates. Im sad however, that the excitement is gone. We matched and then both were out of town for the holidays but chatting via text we really clicked. I like him but I havent developed any feelings for him as I havent met him yet. He said lol duly noted.. Talk to them about nerves beforehand, it will help them to know that you are nervous too. I was convinced he was not going to like it but the night went on and he seemed to be enjoying it. See a person, get to know in reality, if attraction the guy will just ask for my number. Sorry, but if he were interested hed be in touch. Hes an absolute gentleman when were out, however, weve been using FB messenger over the past month and Ive just recently given him my number (like two days ago) but he still has not called. We met once for coffee and text just about everyday. I get that hes busy but a single text would be nice just to let me know hes thinking of me. But he never flirts in a sexual manner i have tried once but he didnt continue, I wanted to know what his intension were. A co-workers friend asked for my number and I agreed. You didnt know him and put so much into him. The thing is I like acouple days of not texting-especially if I dont know him. For instance going to see a concert, doing a race coming up. We agreed to a 2nd date two weeks ago and have spoke about it but he couldnt give me a date he is coming over. Hugs. He tells me he was being friendly, he does have a lot of female friends, but hes only known her for one night. Bp. I say get on Skype with him ASAP and have a real, grownup conversation about the possibilities of any relationship. Is there any ways I can stay out of this situation even when he texted me? Then, that you were kidding about the missing thingand you assume he is to, right? I work shifts and need to plan although I do like spontaneity. And then when you meet it will absolutely be the greatest team the world has ever seen. This is the common behavior across the board Especially if you meet on a dating application. You feel like you are getting to know one another, but that is not whats happening. Thanks for writing such a great article really helpfull and informative What others think isnt important. I met a guy through Match. With just ten minutes time and a few well chosen keystrokes, a good pinger can keep you interested for months, even yearswithout so much as one date. I started texting a guy I met on the a dating site on Facebook. Or you can just stay secure in trusting hes into you and not count the minutes between texts. Hes just a text buddy. I dont know how to fix this or if its even fixable. And especially one that disappears and comes back. 2) The fact hes hiding what he looks like now should tall you that hes hiding something else. But family stuff can be draining and time-consuming so be sure to be sensitive to that. Here's another situation: Fun-loving publicist Melissa had been dating Kyle, a cute IT guy, for a few months. So many of these guys text me tell me of their desires for intimacy and connection. Hi Bobbi. If he is, and clearly so, try again but with no second chances.